The five worst movies of 2011

As the Harry Potter books taught me, when there is good, there must be bad. In a world with delicious Dr. Pepper must come Tab. Movies are no different, and in 2011, there were plenty of awful and mediocre films to balance out the few sparkling diamonds. Here are the worst films from a year most movie fans would probably choose to forget.

5. “The Hangover Part II”

Todd Phillips, director and co-writer of “The Hangover Part II,” I’m glad that we both agree that the first Hangover film was very funny and entertaining. However, that does not mean that audiences wanted to see the exact same movie all over again. This blatantly unimaginative sequel is everything filmgoers hate about sequels, merely changing the setting from Las Vegas to Bangkok, as well as some of the plot devices. As a result, the fresh originality that made the first film a hit felt tired and tediously annoying. The writers treated the original movie’s script like Mad Libs and the audience like walking ATMs. Unfortunately, considering the movie’s $254 million gross, we fell for it.

4. “Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World”

Everyone seems to be over the 3D craze of a few years ago when movies like “Avatar” and “Beowulf” squeaked by on their eye-popping visuals. Everyone except “Spy Kids 4” writer/director/producer Robert Rodriguez, who shoehorns 3D, as well as smell-o-vision, into his already overly busy children’s film. Neither of the gimmicks work; the 3D is unnoticeable, and the scratch-and-sniff cards are clumsy to use and smell like candles instead of whatever they were supposed to smell like.

Even if they were effective, it wouldn’t save the film from its numerous convoluted plot developments, amateur acting by both the adults and the children, cheap special effects and below-juvenile humor. After “Spy Kids 4: All the time in the World,” it’s safe to say it’s time for this franchise to go away.

3. “The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)”

In the trailer for “The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence),” director Tom Six states that he wants to make “the sickest movie of all time.” I suppose he succeeds, but that’s like trying to set the record for longest fingernails; it’s not really a title worth having. What Six fails to do is create a horror movie. It’s too absurd to be scary or horrifying, but it’s also too unpleasant and surprisingly pretentious to be a fun late-night thrill. Six has proven he can be gross, but he has yet to prove he can make scares, much less a decent movie, out of that skill.

2. “Dream House”

It was a bad year for Daniel Craig. His wannabe summer blockbuster “Cowboys & Aliens” flopped at the box office, and worst of all, he starred in the woeful psychological thriller, “Dream House.” The movie’s cast and crew is remarkably overqualified; the director, Jim Sheridan, has been nominated for six Oscars, and Craig’s supporting cast includes Oscar-winner Rachel Weisz and Oscar-nominee Naomi Watts. Yet somehow, they all got suckered into a clumsily scripted thriller that provides more unintentional laughs than thrills. Sheridan even requested that his name be taken off the final product. Bond and the rest of the talented cast should have followed suit.

1. “Creature”

Some may say that placing a micro-budget horror movie that approximately fifty people bought tickets to see is unfair when there are big budget travesties that are more deserving of my scorn. Well, those people clearly did not see “Creature,” an embarrassingly scare-less horror movie whose plot ranges from confusing to preposterous and features acting that a middle school production of “My Little Pony” would find amateurish.

With that description, one might think that “Creature” would be an unintentionally fun time, similar to Nicolas Cage’s “The Wicker Man” or an episode of “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” Surprisingly, however, the movie ends up being bad and dull instead of bad and hilarious. True, the bar was set pretty low, but it could have been set on the bottom of a 25-mile-deep hole to China, and “Creature” still would have tripped up.